This time of year usually brings new growth, as flowers and trees come back to life. Their fresh leaves and blooms reinvigorate us after the winter, and encourage us to go out and play in nature. It is a powerful time.
But as every gardener knows, not every plant in the garden bears fruit, and every so often we need to do some careful weeding. This makes room for more of what we want to grow.
This year, some very deep weeds in our planetary garden have been revealed. It began with the pandemic and the out-of-balance way humans have been treating animals and their habitats. This widened to encompass the disharmony in many aspects of modern life, as quarantines altered how we lived, socialized, worked, and raised children. The pandemic has been hard on everyone, but it has also forced people to live differently. It broke up our busy routines and habits. Some people were called on to work more, others less. For all of us, it has been a time when…if we choose to…we can re-evaluate our own gardens. What plants do we want to harvest in our life, and how do we want them to grow?
In recent news, another weed is presenting itself loud and clear: the habits of racism and domination. Long overdue for weeding, these habits smother fresh new growth and hide the true nature of what it means to be alive. How can the color of anyone’s skin or the shape of their eyes determine the value of a soul? No one is that one dimensional. We all came into the world as vulnerable babies, ready to explore LIFE in the planetary garden. And that life needs to be acknowledged and valued.
So when we watch the news and see where these weeds are still present, what can we do? How can we help?
First, take a long, gentle look in your garden. Are you fostering this energy? Do you stifle your spontaneous knowings? Or ignore the small voice inside yourself that says “I can’t breathe”?
Compassion in society has its roots inside each of us. It is easier to acknowledge others as equals if we can accept all parts of ourselves.
Secondly, allow yourself to feel your own emotions. Sincere feelings give us important clues to our own growth, even if they are uncomfortable to experience.
Here are a few suggestions to make this easier:
- I ask myself how I would react if a dear friend was hurting or in emotional distress. Would I criticize them for their emotion, or would I sit quietly and listen?I would sit with them….and perhaps put a hand on their shoulder or back. My job is not to fix them or the problem. My job is to be present. I would keep breathing, and with each breath try to feel my feet, my bones, my heart.
- So when the person hurting is myself, I place my attention on the part of my body (chest, heart, etc.) that feels the emotion the strongest, and I allow myself to feel the hurt or whatever emotion is rising. I put my palm over that spot and just breathe. If I can, I avoid judging or blaming myself.
You can do this too. Just listen to yourself, to what is sincerely in your heart. Experience the emotion and breathe. Feel the warmth of your palm in that area. And if it helps, you can talk outloud to yourself, or pace the floor.
Sometimes when feelings emerge, people shrink their focus and tunnel in on just the upset. In other words, the hurt feelings seem to fill their world. This is when you need to remember to take another breath and feel your belly, your heart. Widen your view. Know that the pain is there but ALSO within you is a place free of that pain. The pain can only go so deep.
After the emotion has passed, it might help to have something nourishing to sip: warm soup or tea, a nice miso or a warm bowl of genmai if you have it. Chew slowly. Feel the warmth and nurturing go in. Healing is happening. You are tending your garden.