When I talk about self-care to my clients, what I often hear is, “Yes, but who has time in the day for that?” We all have so many responsibilities. Between family, work and changes brought by the pandemic, life seems so different now. What can each of us do to make things better?
For me, the answer is simple: FUEL UP. Just as a car needs fuel to run, we too need to fill up our energy supply. Self-care gives us that fuel, and shows us how to be efficient in spending inner reserves.
STEP ONE:
Self care begins with noticing yourself. In any moment, take your attention away from your tasks and focus on your own body. Notice areas that feel numb, tensed or clenched.
- your jaw….is it relaxed or clenched?
- your teeth….do you wake up grinding your teeth?
- your mind….are you constantly judging or doubting yourself?
- your shoulders….do they feel heavy or stuck?
- your hands and feet…..are they usually cold or numb?
When you notice areas that are clenched or tensed, it gives you an opportunity to connect with with those parts of yourself and consciously relax them.
5-minute support: When you notice tensed or numb areas, place your hand or hands near there and breathe. Let your mind settle under your palm and just breathe in, breathe out. Many thoughts or emotions may come up. Just let them pass through and bring your attention back to your palms, to the areas under your palms. Keep feeling your body as you breathe in and out. Feel the area under the fingers expand now. What else do you notice? Do other parts of your body begin to relax or tense? Move your hands there and breathe. You can continue this process for as long as you like, until your whole body feels warm and comfortable.
Places where you hurt will also tell you what is happening inside yourself. Often there are emotions hidden underneath those painful areas. Putting your attention inside your body allows those emotions to surface and clear. It is a kind of wave that moves through you. Just let them move through, and you will understand more about who you are and what is truly important in your life. This is very freeing.
STEP TWO:
Approach self-care differently. Self-care is not just another item on your to-do list. It is about HOW you do what you already do.
Noticing how your body FEELS as you move about your day gives you thousands of ways to help yourself and give you more fuel.
- each time you breathe
- each time you sit
- each time you stand
- each step you take
For example:
You just sat in a chair to quickly check your email. The light from the window makes the phone screen hard to see, but you stay seated anyway, perched on the edge of your chair.
The self-care approach would be:
Take a few seconds and move to another chair where your eyes can easily see the email screen. (You’ve just saved fuel and decreased eye strain.)
- Sit back comfortably in the chair (instead of perching to one side and twisting your spine). Adjust your posture or get another cushion so that your back feels fully supported.
- Fully relax as you read. Take a few seconds and notice how you are breathing. Breathe more fully into your belly and consciously relax your chin, your jaw and torso. (You just added fuel and energy flow.)
Strain means you are working harder to accomplish a task than is necessary. It is an inefficient use of your energy. Wouldn’t it be easier to take a few seconds and adjust your posture, your “ergonomics” so that what you are doing is strain-free?
STEP THREE:
Bring nature into your day or evening.
- Forest bathing is wonderful this time of year.
- Breathe in the evening air and let it fill you up. Notice the moon.
- Windows let the outside in. Use them throughout your day
- Touch the leaves of your houseplants. Smell their fragrance.
Palm recharge: If you have houseplants with larger leaves (or when walking outside), approach a tree and gently place one of its leaves (while still attached to the tree) between your palms. Let the leaf rest flat between your palms and breathe in the energy. Let gratitude fill you as the very alive tree energy transforms your hands and helps you open up your heart.
Three easy steps are all you need to short circuit your stress and make room for more of your energy to flow. Use them any time, any place, and you’ll feel better soon.